By: Surjit Flora
Our body language, way of communicating, way of smiling, the fluctuations of our language, our word choice and the way we pronounce the words play an important role in shaping our social status.
Happiness is not obtained by asking. It has to be earned. To earn it, we need to be proficient in public relations. The great art of gaining appreciation and love in society is embedded in the art of communication.
People who are skilled in the art of dialogue are seen climbing the ladder of success and standing at the top. It is a skill that is required at every moment and in every field. That is why it is so important for those who want to succeed in life to learn the basics of communication.
Praise is also an art
Do you know this art? Are you stingy in praising others? It is also important to note that there is a difference between flattery and praise. Flattery is a compliment given for a purpose and exaggeration. This should be avoided. Everyone has some or the other quality. Recognize a person’s merit and praise him/her generously. When starting a conversation with a stranger, check the person’s appearance, clothes, complexion, hair, etc. and don’t forget to compliment the person on something admirable. Compliments with smiling lips and smiling eyes help to create a good atmosphere for your conversation.
Such as our Canadian PM Justin Trudeau, a drama teacher: his actions, language, his best act, crocodile tears always make him a very smart and wonderful person.
The only way to win the debate is to avoid it. Create a dialogue, not a dispute. What is gained by winning the debate? Nothing. Only the ego gets inflated. Those who argue and satisfy their ego by winning the debate will rarely be praised by others. Such argument not only makes you unpopular, but also reduces the number of your friends.
We have the best example for that in President Trump “Cone”: he is going to keep defending himself primarily by keeping on attacking his assailants; and the more he wades into the danger zone, the more he steps up his attacks, rather than try to admit and accept that he’s wrong.
Take an interest in others
To be a good communicator, you need to be interested in others. The person who is talking to you will want you to listen to them carefully and with interest. You also need to respond appropriately to encourage the person, either the words of praise, or with a thoughtful question. Sometimes when someone is saying something, many people start looking around, which is a sign that they are not showing interest in the conversation. People who know how to communicate well not only respond to the speaker but also show the speaker that they are interested in what he or she is saying.
We have the best example here in Brampton Mayor Patrick Brown, who is interested so much in other people, and listens to everyone earnestly — but at the end of the day does only what he thinks is best for him.
People spend a lot of time in their daily lives gossiping about others. When one criticizes in a conversation, one is definitely inferior in the eyes of others. When someone slanders an absent friend, the listener thinks that tomorrow he may gossip about me to someone else like this. Blasphemy always causes loss of friends. Slander always has a detrimental effect on time, friends, and personality. He who is to be proficient in the art of communicating with people should refrain from hearing and doing slander.
Again, Trump is the best person who always gossips about most of the world leaders and high officials just to prove that he’s the right and best.
Respectfully call by name
Every human being loves his own name. Every human being wants respect. Every human being wants love. Treat people the way you want them to treat you. Calling by name is also part of the art of good conversation.
Smile and Win
A gift that nature has given to all for free, which has the ability to conquer the world, but still man does not use this gift of nature properly. Meet everyone with a smile. Where possible, smile and make your point clear. Even if you don’t agree with anyone, the effect is good if you express your point of view with a happy and smiling face. On the other hand, it is important to remember that some people laugh out loud and try to make fun of old jokes. People do not take such people seriously in a serious conversation.
We have the best person here in Premier of Ontario Doug Ford, who always smiles, “he works like Internet explorer”. When anyone advises him to do this or that, he never listens, but keeps exploring like a laggy internet that keeps browsing; and by the time it shows the result it’s too late already. Ford calls those who break the Covid rules “Bad Actors”. I call him a “slow laggy actor himself”.
When a person is talking, he should listen patiently. Only speak when he has finished speaking or you are asked to speak. Interrupting the other’s talk is considered anti-social behaviour. The art of listening with restraint and patience is also an important aspect of good communication skills.